Are you living a fairy tale romance or blinding yourself that everything is ok? While it’s perfectly natural for the shine of a new relationship to become polished with satisfaction over time, there are telltale signs that your relationship is at risk that you won’t want to ignore. By examining the weak spots in your relationship, you may be able to act in time, before anger, apathy and resentment tarnish your relationship.
Sign 1: Alone in Your Thoughts
While it’s perfectly normal, and healthy, for each in a relationship to have personal interests, there comes a time when it can become a sign of deeper issues. Ask yourself if you feel alone in your relationship, even when your partner is sitting right next to you. Do you share quiet moments together or are you each left to your own devices (literally and figuratively) while occupying space on the same couch?
Have you reached the point where anger simmers right below the surface and bubbles up at the slightest provocation? Each couple has its hot spots that tend to ignite the flame of anger, but you should become cautious when every issue becomes a reason to argue. If you feel as if you and your partner are fighting more than not, take a step back and examine what is causing the arguments. Are you picking fights to cause a reaction or are you addressing critical issues in a respectful way that encourages resolution?
Sign 3: Winning at All Costs
Has your relationship evolved to be a competition that you can’t afford to lose? Try to remember that you two are a partnership and should tackle the problems of home, hearth, and the world together. If you engage in constant competition with your partner and keep score over every last little thing, you will be too busy trying not to lose that you won’t have any energy left to devote to your partnership.
Each relationship should have a circle of intimacy, and you need to respect those boundaries. Don’t be afraid to vent to a trusted friend, but be cautious and don’t fall into the trap of bad-mouthing your partner to anyone who will listen. One thing to remember is that while you are venting, you are only telling one side of the story. You don’t want to create a situation where your friend begins to think poorly of your partner, even after you’ve forgiven and moved forward.
Sign 5: Breaking Down, Not Building Up
A little teasing can go a long way to building intimacy, but you always need to be laughing together. If other areas of your relationship are in disrepair, it’s easy to take teasing personally and have it cross the line from loving banter to insulting mockery—especially when it happens outside the home.
These five telltale symptoms can signal that your relationship is at risk for becoming unhealthy and toxic. If these signs seem all-too-familiar, then now is the time to ask yourself if you can save the relationship or if it’s time to say good-bye.