When someone gets cheated on it is painful and it can cause them to have a hard time trusting other people. But what about the one who cheats? They can have a hard time getting over the guilt of the hurt that they caused so many people.
One of the problems with cheaters is that they have betrayed people that they love, and they have to deal with this at one point or another. Even though this is something that you did that hurt others, you need to face it and then you need to stop punishing yourself.
What you did before is something that has to stay in the past. You should never forget the hurt that you caused others, but you do need to learn to forgive yourself and learn from it. You need to make sure that you don’t do it again.
When you are feeling guilty, you need to think about what you have done and then learn to let it go. Even if you are with the person, you cheated on or you are single, it is best to make better choices in the future. Here is how:
Talk to Someone
You can take time to talk to a relationship therapist. They can help you to figure out what caused you to cheat and why you felt that it was okay. Maybe you are still feeling guilty about cheating and now it is time to change your life.
Feeling guilty about hurting someone is good and you should have these feelings, but this also means that you are probably a good person. You wouldn’t feel bad if you weren’t and it is natural to have guilt about taking advantage of someone and losing their trust.
These feelings mean that you are being responsible for the things that you did to them. This doesn’t mean that you won’t cheat again but if you really learned then you won’t.
Stop Holding on to It
You are guilty for what you did but you can’t let your guilt carry on for whatever you are going to do in the future. Don’t let the guilt keep you down. You decided to be honest about what you did wrong and if they decided to work things out or if things came to an end, you have to focus on the good things for your future.
Staying with Your Partner
If you have decided to stay with your partner and they agreed, you have to realize that you still love them, and they love you. The best thing that you did was to be honest to them and now you realize that their love is worth fighting for.
Maybe you made the decision that you were going to move forward and put the past behind you, but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to deal with the hurt that you have caused. You also have to deal with your guilt. Here is how:
Forgiveness
You have to learn to forgive yourself for what you did. Even if you were completely in the wrong, which you were, you have to forgive yourself for the things that you did. Then, you have to put it behind you and live a better life in the future.
Talk to Someone
Talk to someone that you love and trust about the guilt that you are feeling. You can talk to your partner or someone in your family. It is important to discuss with someone what you are feeling and the guilt that is coming out of you.
Discuss this with someone that won’t judge you or put you down. If you have no one that you trust, talk to a counselor.
Be Better
The best thing that you can do is to be better in the future. Do more and put out extra effort in the relationship. You will see that you can better your life and that you will get past your guilt as time goes on.
Ask Them
Ask them questions about what they want from you. Now that you have cheated, you need to make it up to them. Ask questions on what you can do to make the relationship better and how you can prove your love to them.
They will need you to be there for them and to feel reassured in the relationship.
Make Them Respect You
Even though you hurt them, it doesn’t mean that they can treat you poorly. You shouldn’t have to suffer for the mistake that you have done.
Relationship Counselor
Being cheated on can make it hard to make a relationship work. If you and your partner are struggling to get back to some kind of normal, go and see a counselor that can help you.
If You’re Moving On
If you are moving on and the relationship that you cheated on isn’t working, you have to figure out what to do next.
Accept It
You have to accept that your partner didn’t want to stay with you and decide what you are going to do next. Did you learn your lessons? If so, move past the problem and do something different. If you are denying that you did anything wrong though, there is a problem.
Talk to a Friend
Find a friend that you trust that you can talk to about what you are feeling. Talk to them about the things you are going to do differently in the future.
You Aren’t Bad
Just because you made a mistake, it doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. Good people do bad things sometimes and you have to realize that you are human. Doing a bad thing doesn’t make you a terrible person but you do need to change.
No One is Perfect
No one is perfect and you aren’t either. No one expects you to be perfect and you will make mistakes again.
Don’t Claim to Stay a Cheater
You don’t have to take the title of a cheater because you cheated once. You might hate what you did and have a problem forgiving yourself, but you have to do this, and you have to remind yourself that you aren’t a cheater that you just made a mistake.
You’re Worthy of Love
Even though you messed up in this relationship, it doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of love. You can’t let everyone treat you bad just because you cheated.
Know the Lessons
Know the lessons that you learned and once you realize that you learned your lesson, make a choice to live a better life as you move forward.
Talk to a Pro
Some people have to talk to a professional to know what to do next in their life. It can be hard to find love again, but you can do it and you can do it right this time.
Do You Ever Lose the Guilt?
As a cheater, it can be hard to let go of the guilt that follows. The good thing about that is that you will remember that you cheated, and you won’t do it again. The guilty feeling will last for a while, but it will eventually go away.
Don’t let the memories of the cheating control your life but make sure you don’t forget how it made other people feel. Sometimes the guilt will stay forever, and you might find that it is less painful as time moves on.
Don’t hide what you did and make sure that you are open to the betrayal that you brought on your relationship. Trying to hide what you did from everyone will cause you to feel pained and will cause you to feel that you didn’t learn your lesson.
Forgiving Yourself
You have to learn to forgive yourself for cheating. You need to stop beating yourself up and don’t let your partner punish you. You need to ask your partner to forgive you but if they are being unreasonable and they are making you wait for a long time, they might not ever forgive you.
The guilt that you feel can cause you to have lower self-esteem and if this happens then you need to talk to a professional to help you. It can be easier to forgive yourself if you are still with your partner but if you aren’t, it’s okay and you can move on.
Showing Remorse
Showing remorse is more than just being sorry for what you did. You have to change your actions and make sure that you know that you hurt others. Take responsibility for your actions and then do your best to fix the relationship.
Why They Cheat
There are different reasons why people cheat. Some just like to cheat, and others get feelings for someone without meaning to. If you only cheated once, it can be a mistake that you made out of nowhere. If you were drunk, this could have been a situation that caused you to feel tempted at the time.
You might have cheated because things felt bad in your relationship or because you have low self-esteem and wanted the attention. There are many different reasons for this.
Stop Cheating
You can stop cheating and you don’t have to do that. Make sure that you are talking to your partner and that you are being open to them. Being in a healthy relationship means that you have no reason to cheat on your partner. Spend time with them and let them learn to see that you do love them and appreciate them.
If you have had an affair, you have to realize that you have hurt different feelings along the way. Or, if you developed feelings for someone close to you, don’t spend time with them and avoid being around them.
Remember, if you are cheating, chances are you will lose your partner. Make sure that you know the risks before you ever choose to do that again.