Sex is everywhere in our culture: in movies, television shows, popular music, and advertisements. But paradoxically, our culture has a wildly polarizing relationship with sex. We’re often told we aren’t allowed to have it and we shouldn’t enjoy it. So, it makes sense that many people feel conflicted when it comes to sex.
Your relationship with yourself and your significant other should be intimate. It should nourish your soul and infuse every aspect of your life with powerful, vitalizing energy. This is the natural order of things. But avoiding sex, regarding sex as an insignificant or inconsequential element of a romantic relationship, or experiencing anxiety and guilt related to sex is not at all natural.
Sex isn’t an incidental segment of your life or relationship. Sex is a vital life force; an energy that acts like the glue in your romantic relationship. It’s a major tool you can use to transform yourself into the sexual being you were intended to be.
Do you find sex to be a pleasurable, life-affirming, rejuvenating, uplifting, transformative experience? If you don’t, you aren’t doing it right, and chances are that you’re living a dull and uninspiring life and have a boring marriage or romantic relationship.
Unless you take some time to discover what’s standing between you and the ideal experience, you’ll never achieve it.
Here are five things to consider to clear your sexual blocks and open up into your true and radiant sexual self:
- Heal past sexual wounds.
Incidents such as sexual abuse, trauma, and boundary violations create defensive energy, which when it comes to sex, may as well be body armor. Your true nature will remain hidden behind this armor until you consciously address what happened and heal.
Therapy, coaching, and energy work can all help. Take advantage of these things.
- Scrutinize your beliefs.
As mentioned earlier, our culture sends us mixed messages related to sex. One of the most significant sources of condemnation, judgment, and conflicting beliefs about sex is religion. If you’ve internalized any such beliefs—and it’s nearly impossible to grow up in this society without doing so—you’re living them out, either consciously or unconsciously.
Ask yourself how you feel about sex, where your beliefs come from, if they’re what you truly believe, or if you’ve been conditioned to accept them.
You have the power to choose and create your beliefs. If you have sexual blocks related to your beliefs, try composing a personal sexual manifesto. Include everything you want your intimate relationship to encompass. Post your manifesto prominently above your bed.
You can’t be intimate and free with somebody else if you aren’t intimate and free with your own spirit. Meditation is a great way to focus your attention inward and face components of yourself that you’ve been trying to avoid. Meditation is a gentle way to reconnect with your spiritual self and be more honest and liberated.
Spend time in this pursuit daily, whether you plan a formal, structured meditation, take a walk in the woods, or enjoy extended, unrestrained masturbation (yes, self-love can bring about spiritual awakening) to delve more deeply into yourself.
- Do yoga.
A regular yoga routine is an incredibly effective tool to open your flow of sexual energy. It stretches open both the hips and the heart, where intimacy resides. This expands your capacity for sexual pleasure and romantic love.
All of the tension you store in your body has a psychological or emotional component to it, which causes blocks and tightness. Yoga exposes those blocks and tightness and loosens them.
Committing to a daily yoga routine—even if it’s just a few minutes after you get out of bed—will tap into the natural rhythm of yourself and allow your system to process and integrate your experiences as efficiently as possible. Being sexually open and free is the most natural rhythm of yourself.
- Practice releasing.
A healthy sex life is like a sanctuary where a couple is comfortable enough to be totally naked and free together. Nothing is hotter, sexier, and more inviting than being completely and genuinely present with somebody else.
Release involves things like the freedom to express your emotions, the ability to forgive others, dealing calmly and effectively with stress, letting go of self-doubt, and so on.
The more you apply release to every other aspect of your life, the more it will carry over into your sexuality. More than any other factor, release is what elevates sex from mundane to mystical, from merely physical to marvelously transcendental.
Your ability to peel off your layers and expose yourself as freely and openly as you can will determine the level of enjoyment you obtain from sex. It really is that simple.