Are you losing yourself in your relationship? Finding your moods and lifestyle hanging on the the attitudes and behaviors of someone else? Thinking random and repetitive thoughts about who you used to be? Feeling limited, unappreciated and disrespected? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you’ve likely lost at least some of your personal power in love. Here’s how to get it back!
How You Used to Be
Think back to how you used to be. Were you more socially active with friends or family? Were you taking better care of yourself? Did you have better boundaries with other people in your life? Letting any of these qualities and behaviors slip can lead to feelings of isolation, dependency on your partner for all your needs, and saying and doing things that make you feel ashamed.
Start today by pulling your focus back from you partner and widen your scope. Make plans to go out on your own. How about reconnecting with a relative or friend you’ve neglected, even if it’s just for a few hours? You also need some personal time away to reconnect with someone else you’ve neglected—YOU!
Babysitting Your Electronic Devices
Watching your phone and/or email like a newborn baby? Do you find yourself constantly waiting for contact? Are you unable to focus on what you should be doing? What you need to know is that this type of behavior is a reflection of insecurity. You are seeking validation and security from your partner when you are not together. This makes you become needy, which is not a desirable trait, and it’s a huge turnoff as well.
Stop watching your phone and checking for him/her online (whether it be through Facebook or email) for a clue as to what the person is doing. When you find yourself babysitting your electronics, put them away and do something else. Each time you do this, you are dismantling your old patterns. Force yourself to focus on something that YOU need to accomplish or manage.
Do you avoid making plans with others because you’re waiting for your special someone to ask you out? Have you ever told a friend or family member that you “may” have plans with your significant other when you know nothing is really set in stone?
If you’re waiting around for them, you’re definitely losing yourself in the relationship. If you’re neglecting yourself and others because you’re waiting around for your significant other, you’re damaging those important relationship too.
Nagging Them About the Status of Your Relationship
You can’t seem to help yourself and you keep asking your partner to talk about your relationship and even define it. Are you just dating? Are you committed? Are you going to move in together or get married in the future? When you constantly ask these questions, do you feel your partner pulling away from you? If you aren’t happy with how your relationship is progressing, do you find yourself doing more and being more for your partner? You’re making too many personal sacrifices and becoming obsessed. This isn’t working for you. Maybe you’ve called me or another relationship psychic to find out where your romantic relationship is going.
Fight the urge to bring up the relationship or criticize it, and refrain from telling your partner that you want more or less of something. Just stop. Remember, your attempts to get closer to them are actually pushing them away. Focus on strengthening yourself. If you do, this will have a positive impact on your partner.
The more boundaries you set, the better and stronger you’ll become. And a great majority of the problems you have with your partner are probably due to the unhealthy expectations you’ve placed on them. When you become dependent on someone and expect them to fulfill all your needs, and when you expect them to make you happy, you’ve given away your personal power.
Your partner is not responsible for your happiness and well-being—you are! if you’re unhappy in your life, you need to figure out why and find ways to get happier. It’s healthy to have some time apart, and it will give your partner a chance to miss you. Don’t do things to make them feel smothered, pressured and forced. Start getting back to who you are and focus on yourself. Relationships should add to your life experience. Love should make you happy, but it should be one of several things that make you happy. Love can’t be all things to you.