Many women find it tough dealing with their boyfriend’s sister. This is a sensitive and troublesome area. Sisters who are of the same age can easily become friends; but they can also be overbearing, jealous, insecure, dominating because there’s a lot of power struggle involved. Fighting for the attention of a single man can easily make women the bitterest of enemies.
Here are six signs that you’re dating someone with a possessive sister. Check them out and then find out what you can do to curb her behavior.
She Interrogates You
The possessive sister will interrogate you. She wants to know everything about you from where you went to school and your politics, to what kind of job you have and your medical history. And she won’t be nice about it. She wants to make you sweat. In fact, if she could hook you up to a polygraph test, she would.
Don’t let his possessive sister interrogate you. Instead of letting her ask you question after question, break up her interrogation with questions of your own. And for every invasive question she asks you, ask her one in return. Give her a taste of her own medicine!
She Picks Out His Clothes
A possessive sister takes charge of her single brother’s wardrobe. She takes him shopping and forces her taste on him. She says good clothes will help him get a girlfriend, so he takes her advice. But now that he has a girlfriend (and presumably someone else to pick out his clothes), his sister is out of a job and she’s not happy about it. She’ll talk about her fashion sense and how he didn’t dress well before she took him shopping. She’ll ask you about the sweater he’s wearing and if you like it, she’ll let you know she picked it out. The same holds true for his jeans, shoes, shirts, hats, etc.
She Tells You How to Be a Good Girlfriend
If his possessive sister hands you a “Guide to Making My Brother Happy,” don’t accept it. She may know what foods he likes, or what music he listens to, but she doesn’t know what turns him on or his favorite sexual positions. You do! She’ll say she just wants you to be together forever, but that’s not the case. She really just wants to make you feel uncomfortable.
You know how to be a good girlfriend. If your boyfriend is introducing you to his family, you obviously have long-term potential, so don’t worry about making him happy. You’re already doing it. If his possessive sister tries to offer you advice about making her brother happy, tell her you don’t need it!
She Gets Weird When You Two Get Affectionate
Do hand holding, hugging and kissing make his possessive sister uncomfortable? Does she make faces or gagging sounds when you do it? Does she find ways to keep you apart in her presence, like sitting next to him so you can’t, pulling him away from you, or drawing him into a private conversation? Three’s a crowd in her mind, and you are cramping her style!
Tasteful, loving expressions between you and your boyfriend feel like a slap in the face to his possessive sister. She’s jealous of the intimacy and affection you have for one another and she knows that as siblings she cannot have that kind of intimacy and affection with her brother. If your kisses and hugs make her uncomfortable, kiss and hug more! Whisper in his ear and always touch him, whether it’s holding his hand, rubbing his back or sitting on his lap. She’ll hate it, but she can’t really complain about it without looking pitiful.
She Tears Him Down
Has his sister ever taken you aside and said nasty things about her brother? Does she say he’s fat, lazy, wastes money or does recreational drugs—all things you know to be untrue? She may even say you’re too good for her brother, or that she feels like you’re a close friend now, so she’s trying to protect you. The truth is she really just wants you gone.
In this situation, you really need to speak up. She’s degrading the man you love, and for someone who claims to love her brother, she’s doing a really poor job of it. Stand up for your man! Tell his sister that what she is saying in untrue and inappropriate and that you’re going to tell her brother what she said. Of all the things a possessive sister could do, this is one of the worst!
She Uses Her Drama to Create a Wedge
The happier and closer you and your boyfriend get, the more drama magically appears in his sister’s life. And, she’ll use that drama to create a rift between you and your boyfriend. She’ll call him crying and depressed. She’ll be stranded somewhere. Her life will suddenly make no sense and she’ll need her brother to help her figure things out. And when’s the best time for him to fix her? How about whenever you have plans? How about on your birthday, anniversary or even wedding day?
If his possessive sister has mental and emotional problems and her life is really falling apart, recommend that she get therapy. The world doesn’t stop because she’s miserable and her misery shouldn’t keep her brother from being in a successful relationship.
Tell Your Guy to Man Up!
You can be sure this isn’t his possessive sister’s first trip to the crazy circus. I guarantee you she has tried and succeeded in pushing her brother’s other girlfriends away—and he’s let her. Dealing with her is going to get real old, real fast, and the truth is, you shouldn’t have to. But the only thing that will stop her in the future is a brother who protects his love life. You can tell your boyfriend how his sister’s actions make you feel and that you want him to protect your relationship. But if he won’t, for whatever reason, you need to move on.