Casual sex takes many forms. You know the obvious ones: the one-night stand, the booty call, sex by appointment. More recent variations include “rec” (recreational) sex, which exists because, as one friend told me, “every great athlete needs practice.” And then there’s “cereal” sex, which is a one-night stand amid a dry spell that, like cereal, is satisfying in the moment but leaves you needing further sustenance shortly thereafter. But the question is: Can you teach yourself to have casual sex without regrets? Yes and no.
Sex is Enjoyable for Anyone
There has been a lot of research on this topic, and as it turns out, women think about casual sex almost as much as guys. In fact, women also seem to enjoy the act, although in a slightly different way than most men. When a man is engaging in casual sex his ultimate goal is to pleasure the woman.
I can already hear the sighs of disbelief. This isn’t a selfless act, mind you, as men actually derive their pleasure from the fact that their partner is enjoying what they are doing. In other words, the more into sex a woman is, the more a man gets out of it. So, it is in his best interest to focus on her enjoyment, just as much as his own.
Many women are attracted to casual sex because it makes them feel desired and sexy. They fantasize about a man who loses control whenever they are around. However, the research suggests that women still do not have as many orgasms during casual sex as with a long-term partner, and there are a few reasons for this.
Women are more in touch with their emotional feelings during sex, so sex with a stranger may not be enough to get them going. Women are most open to sharing their desires with a lover when they know him. In other words, women are more likely to ask for what they want in bed when they have a history with a guy.
It has also been suggested that women are more choosy than men, even when it comes to casual sex. It is believed that genetics and biology play a huge part in a woman deciding who she sleeps with. But men often don’t consider anything other than desire when it comes to casual sex. As a result, they are likely to hookup with more casual partners than women do.
When men have casual sex, they feel content when they have pleased their partner. They don’t necessarily think about seeing and pleasing them again. But a woman takes pleasure in knowing that a man desires her and longs to be with her. If that happens once, but not again, it can leave a woman feeling used and self-conscious.
Casual Sex Without Regrets
Most research suggests that women can enjoy casual sex so long as they feel desired, safe and secure. These should be your golden rules to great casual sex. However, once the deed is done, women who internalize the judgments of others may feel guilty and depressed.
How you feel about casual sex should be a personal decision, and not be influenced by what others say, or what you might think they would say. Men do enjoy making women feel desired and special, even when the sex is casual. But women should also know that the men they are hooking up with are playing a fantasy in his head, and therefore the intense desire they are displaying may not be entirely for the women they’re with. It’s wise not to take what a man says during sex as his true feelings.
As long as you know the rules of the game, and are honest with your casual partners, there is no reason you can’t enjoy casual sex without regrets (if that is what you want). But if you try it and don’t get the satisfaction out of it you expected, consider that it might not be the right activity for you.